Влюбленная пара в восторге друг от друга. Любят. Он дарит цветы, встречает после работы. Она шлет ласковые СМС, дарит нежность и заботу. На романтику уходят деньги и время. Всё и вся только друг для друга. Вдруг, они ссорятся. И уже нет милых СМС, исчезает утренний кофе. Зато появляются упрёки и манипуляции.
Почему люди, которые готовы были отдать друг другу всё, отдаляются, предъявляют претензии и выясняют отношения?
И как этого избежать?
Да, мы правы в своих претензиях. Ну и что?
Прежде всего, озвучу спорный, но реалистический тезис, что человек по природе своей, имеет массу недостатков.
К примеру, человек ленив, эгоистичен, труслив, жаден, порочен, тщеславен, и так далее.
Это не про всех и не про каждого. Но что-то из этого списка можно найти в каждом. И ищем. И находим. И…
Вот тут и начинается то, что может испортить любые отношения.
Можно принять эти недостатки.
А можно недостатки в другом человеке искоренять.
Люди, выбирающие первый путь – живут долго и счастливо со своими любимыми. Люди, выбирающие второй путь, не имеют долгих отношений, либо живут в частых конфликтах.
И тут у многих возникают вопросы: «Как же принять то, что не нравится в человеке?» «А если человек действительно плохой? А я хочу, чтобы он был хороший!»
Сосчитаем «плюсы» и «минусы»
Возьмите два листа бумаги. Выпишите на одном все качества, которые нравятся в человеке, а на втором – негативные.
Сравните.
Если весомее список на втором листочке – тогда можно смело расстаться с человеком.
Если вдруг окажется, что список положительных качеств огромен, а отрицательных ничтожно мал, вот тогда рекомендую принять этого человека, как безупречного.
Кстати, мы тоже далеко не идеальны. Напишите то же самое про себя, на таких же двух листочках.
Прямо сейчас!
Если мы разрешаем себе жить с такими недостатками, то по какому праву мы можем быть недовольными недостатками другого человека?
Один мой друг как-то заявил: «Я имею пять слабостей. Столько же я разрешу иметь моей половинке.»
Принять недостатки другого человека не так уж и легко, как кажется на первый взгляд.
Принять их нужно не только так, чтобы сдержать ворчание, но чтобы в глубине души и не возникало малейшего раздражения.
Есть еще один вариант – не замечать недостатки.
Вовсе.
Но такой подход – лишь отсрочка конфликта. Рано или поздно, появится явное или скрытое недовольство. А следом появится претензионное поведение.
Милые особенности
Рекомендуется назвать найденные недостатки у близкого человека совсем другим определением: «Особенности этого человека».
И уже нет недостатков! Есть «особенности». И уже мы думаем: «Хороший человек, но имеет особенность: иногда вспыльчив, порой хвастлив, временами замыкается в себе».
А еще, напротив каждого негативного качества, напишите, как часто оно проявляется. И как часто не проявляется.
И мы увидим титанические усилия нашего любимого, выглядеть великолепно, несмотря на свойственные человеку «пороки».
Замечено, что многие «особенности» проявляются редко, когда нет сил (по каким-то причинам) выглядеть хорошо и достойно. Проходит время, и заканчиваются «особенности». И снова: приятный подарок, ласковое слово, восхищенный взгляд.
Верьте только в лучшее!
Общайтесь с человеком так, как будто он обладает только положительными качествами. Спустя время, пусть даже длительное, человек таким и окажется.
Напоследок хорошая притча:
Счастливая семья
В одном маленьком городе живут по соседству две семьи. Одни супруги постоянно ссорятся, виня друг друга во всех бедах и выясняя, кто из них прав. А другие дружно живут, ни ссор у них, ни скандалов.
Дивится строптивая хозяйка счастью соседки. Завидует.
Говорит мужу:
— Пойди, подсмотри, как у них так получается, чтобы все гладко и тихо.
Пришел тот к соседскому дому, притаился под открытым окном. Наблюдает. Прислушивается.
А хозяйка как раз порядок в доме наводит. Вазу дорогую от пыли вытирает. Вдруг позвонил телефон, женщина отвлеклась, а вазу поставила на краешек стола, да так, что вот-вот упадет. Но тут ее мужу что-то понадобилось в комнате. Зацепил он вазу, та упала и разбилась.
— Ох, что сейчас будет! — думает сосед.
Подошла жена, вздохнула с сожалением, и говорит мужу:
— Прости, дорогой. Я виновата. Так неаккуратно вазу поставила. — Что ты, милая? Это я виноват. Торопился и не заметил вазу. Ну да, ладно. Не было бы у нас большего несчастья.
Больно защемило сердце у соседа. Пришел он домой расстроенный. Жена к нему:
— Ну что ты так долго? Посмотрел? — Да! — Ну и как там у них? — У них-то все виноваты. Вот поэтому и не ссорятся. А вот у нас все и всегда правы…
There was only a flash of light in her eyes, and she promised to wait for the arrangements
In a blink of an eye, it was the day of the Seven Sects Conference Cangshan This is the most famous sacred mountain in Cangshan Star.And Gou Rui of Nether Palace looked at Lu Yu next to him in disbelief.
If he did it, he could easily crush Lu Ziji with just a little finger But if he takes action, I 10 Proven Diabetic Diet Hacks for Effective Weight Loss Without Compromising Health
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But no matter how many magic weapons they have and how powerful their magical powers are, they still have life saving means for their respective sect s god forming ancestors.Okay, since the Baijiang Conference is about to be held, let s let this guy go for the time being Gong Haobo glanced at Lu Yu coldly.
Feng Batian, the leader of the Tianwai Sect, narrowed his eyes, surged with sword energy, and looked at Lu Yu s direction with a fierce gaze It seems that we Best Gabriel Iglesias Weight Loss Tips: How He Transformed His Body and Health
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However, Yan Xunnan slowly shook his head and sighed At least, let s go with those two fellow Taoists to see the situation first.Blood evil big handprint She wanted to use her life to keep Lu Yu alive When Find Lasting Relief with Low Dose CBD Gummies for Pain: A Comprehensive Guide
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it is difficult to stop these powerful enemies from invading, and I don t know how many sacrifices will be made For these carefully trained soldiers, Chu Tiangang has no doubts about their strength and determination to protect China, even if every soldier is killed in the battle, I won t give up either However, their opponents, those cultivators of Cangshan Star, are terrifying existences like human shaped nuclear bombs and mobile natural disasters Huo Dingtian and Long Hai also fell silent, feeling quite heavy in their hearts.
Looking at these people, they wanted to call someone, which was exactly what Lu Yu wanted.For a moment, although everyone was amazed by Lu Yu s charm, they could not remember that this completely different person could be Lu Ziji.
It s time to go to the depths of the secret realm. I m determined to get the Liu Yan Magic Pearl Lu Yu didn t bother to do what the others did.Furthermore, the Scarlet Flame Tiger Zhao family has always been in conflict The Bark-Worthy Breakdown of CBD Gummies for Dogs (svkro)
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How about we do something together Okay Lord Ye Tianzhen He agreed immediately and didn t think there was anything wrong with three Yuan Ying stage ancestors bullying a junior.This Zhao Zhong, he had heard of before, was not a great figure in the Chiyanhu Nature Boost Gummies for ED: Reviews and Analysis
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An illusory golden elixir can only become a perfect golden elixir after going through thunder and calamity However, Yuan Dan is just an illusory golden elixir, which cannot be touched lightly.Are you a monk Lu Xiao s big, watery eyes gave Lu Yu a charming look, then nodded gently and said Huoyang Lingye CBD & 24K Gold Edge Gro Reviews: A Comprehensive Guide to Hair Growth and Edge Care (DplAs)
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It is estimated that it will take two to three hundred years to recover.If you have any questions in your spare time, feel free to ask After hearing Lu Yu s words, Princess Lu Yi showed a deep expression of emotion.
What made him even more incredible was that Lu Ziji knew and didn t stop him Why stop him Why should I be afraid of a mere cultivator at the Nascent Soul Stage Lu Yu smiled softly With his current cultivation of the Golden Body of Merit and the Golden Lotus of Merit, his mastery of magical powers, and his understanding of the Kneeling Dao, he can move tens of thousands of kilograms with just one force If there were a few more Nascent Soul cultivators, there might be some trouble.
Wow As the sword light dissipated over time, time and space seemed to start flowing again However, with a Customers’ Verdict: Keto Drive – ACV in Their Own Words
bang, the fierce and arrogant Red Flame Tiger let out a roar that shook the earth, and with deep unwillingness and anger, it directly dissipated in the void Impossible Seeing this scene, Zhao Guangji couldn t believe his eyes.
Neither the Cangshan Sect nor Luofeng City has any chance of survival
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After all, Lu Ziji is too young and has shallow cultivation.It s important to find the entrance to the second floor first However, just when Lu Yu and Ancestor Xielu had just stepped out of the small medicine hospital, they met a mid Uncovering the Truth: Clarity Bloom CBD Reviews and the Science Behind CBD Gummies (Pxllg)
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However, the foundation of this purple eyed cloud winged tiger bone sword is too shallow after all.I wonder if Master can catch up with that old man Yang Rong Zhuang Yu stretched his neck and looked in the direction Lu Ziji was chasing, feeling worried.
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In fact, she knew the whereabouts of the Fire Yang Spirit Leaf, and there was one in the Earth Kingdom s treasure house However, looking at the Buy Blue Vibe CBD Gummies - Discover the Benefits and Where to Buy
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He nodded gently to Yan Xunnan and said with a smile Thank you, fellow Taoist, for thinking about me At this time, Gou Rui also recovered the witch burst, and his black and white eyes turned, The Benefits and Effects of CBD Gummies with Ginger for Pain Relief and Wellness (TLfMb)
smiling.More than 1,300 people in the banker s house all died miserably Such a blood feud, even if there is a one in ten thousand chance, he will take revenge
Zhuang Yu s eyes were full of blood and tears, his face was ferocious, the veins on his arms were exposed, and his heart was filled with overwhelming resentment.
It is difficult to get started and even harder to master Therefore, there are very few people who know the formation, but no one here knows about it We can only rely on such hard bombardment to destroy the formation restrictions Seeing this scene, the Evil Kill Ancestor became a little anxious, and said through a message Friend Lu, why don t you stop them The way they are doing it, I m afraid they will damage the Red Flame Spiritual Milk and waste natural resources Lu Yu shook his head.
Who else can do this besides your Wuhua Sect Perhaps Lian Yu, a famous genius of Wuhua Sect, will be involved Lian Revolutionize Your Weight Loss Journey with Keto Gummies Reviews Oprah - A Game-Changing Supplement
Yu is one of the most talented disciples of Wuhua Sect.Then they reacted and saluted Lu Yu one by one My benefactor, if you are ordered in the future, I will fight with swords and fire.
This Lu Ziji is worthy of being an emperor. The low class pariahs from the constellation are so ignorant and ridiculous They are just frogs in the well, Lu Ziji.Kill him However, Lu Ziji s road is over He is already scarred and exhausted, but Feng Batian, the leader of the Tianwai Sect, is waiting for work and his condition is still perfect.
How dare this Lu Ziji Since you are so arrogant, then this sect will help you Everyone, let s do it together However, it would be too merciful to kill such an arrogant kid with one sword It is best to destroy him.Lu Ziji, I am a member of the Scarlet Flame Tiger Zhao family in the Western Wasteland King Discover the Power of CBD Enlargement Gummies for Men's Health
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Look next to her, she is a high ranking member of the Creator Organization I didn t expect that Japan Guotian Amaterasu Amaterasu has also sent people here.His cultivation at this time has surprisingly reached the middle stage of the Golden Exploring the Benefits of Serenity Farms CBD Gummies for Overall Wellness
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A heavy treasure, as well as avenging Elder Xue and being rewarded by the sect, that s killing two birds with one stone Sun Yue is right, let s find that guy Lu Ziji on the first floor He is just a casual cultivator of the Golden Core stage.
Of course, Su Ye didn t dare to go to other teahouses and restaurants.The flying sword beside him trembled and made a buzzing sound.
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Su, I haven t done anything here, so why am I so embarrassed Don t say such useless things
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This level of cultivation shouldn t be too much weaker than Su Ye s when fighting against him.Seven steps and seven poems, each one is extraordinary.
Su Ye and the other three looked at each other, what s going on Chen Xian sighed How about we do this today I ll go back to my house and ask my father.Su Ye also knew this elixir, it was called Qingxinguiyidan.
Chuhe Academy also had a banner hanging on it. She was Helping the evildoer So, the next day, Su Ye set up a wooden platform again and challenged the three major academies, but Luo Qingqing was beaten to death.Yu Ziya said Moreover, if you think about it carefully, can t there be a living person in Yunyicheng who is not infected with the plague Besides, Doxycycline Hyclate Weight Loss: Exploring the Potential Effects
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Su Ye can t keep his mouth shut when facing some weird beasts.There is a rope tied to the outer wall of the flying house.
He didn t like studying or practicing martial arts.Professional alchemy masters rarely participate in such competitions.
Of course, the formation arranged on the fourth grade high level formation plate in front of them has also reached the fourth grade high level level, but its effect is not even as good as the fourth grade basic formation arranged with formation flags.Li Shiming has a big head. With these two fourth level spiritual beasts guarding the gate, how can he enter the gate.
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Li Keqing, this is the guest identity card. From now on, you will be one of your own.Just because the Holy Ice Sect can t do it doesn t mean that Elder Baili doesn t want to.
It is estimated that except for the Jian Ancestor, the rest of the Nascent Soul Ancestors would be hard pressed to suppress each other if they fought with the Ren Xun Ancestor.But in this situation, it is impossible for him to bribe senior officials because no one dares to get involved with him.
There was no longer any aura from the one hundred and eight fourth grade energy based flying swords.You are smart, I hope you are really smart Li Shiming took a deep look at Yuan Xi and said lightly.
Otherwise, Li Shiming s sword intent might really be able to break his black turtle defensive posture.Qin An is only 16 years old this year. He is Qin Hu s personal book boy.
He knew that he could not go on like this and had to fight back.Ask for help from Lianhua Temple and Taichu Sect Great Monk Barun reacted at this time and shouted loudly.
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This is the plan to expand the Yuqing Sect s sphere of influence to the Eastern Qi Continent.Old Fan, I support what you said. Delicious and Effective: How Keto Apple Cider Vinegar Gummies Aid Your Weight Loss
Can you let me know first about the elixir in the jade bottle Zuo Laozu couldn t bear it anymore and asked aloud from the side.
The larger the scope of Mo Lake, the higher the realm of Yuanying monks.Ancestor Lu, who was far away in Yongle Island and was attending a meeting between Beishu Continent, Tianxing Trading Company and Tianwen Sect, received the news from the sect and learned everything that happened in the sect.
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